Heart of the Wolf
by nightgoddess1303
Summary: This is What i think Jake it thinking as he runs at the end of Eclipse. he is hurt and irrational and just wants to get away.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: this is what kind what i think Jake is thinking when hes running away at the end of eclipse.**

Why? Why can't she love me? Why did he have to come back? Why can't I be happy too? She thinks she was the only one healed by our friendship, but that's not true. She healed me too. I thought I was doomed when I found out I was a werewolf, but she made me feel normal again. Seeing her… was like seeing the sun rise, like a cool glass of water when you've been stranded in the desert.

Why? I want her to be happy, I do, but why can't she be happy with me? She was happy; we healed each other when he left. We were friends and we could have been so much more. We could have been great together. Our love would have been unbelievably easy. Our love would have been like breathing. We would have been happy, and she could have stayed just the way she was, she would never have to change to be with me. She could have had a normal life, she could have had children. We could have grown old together, and have grandchildren…

I can't stay here, I just can't. I have to get away, away from all the memories of her. La Plush is like hell to me, I constant reminder of what was. Of the love we were destined to share. My house were we would just sit and watch movies and TV together, the garage were we spent so many afternoons working on our bikes. I can still hear her laughter… I can still see her smile… why? Why? WHY? Why wouldn't she just love me!? What's wrong with me?

I was in love with her the moment I saw her… she was beautiful… the sun shining off her silky chocolate brown hair, her fair skin, she looked to frail, so beautiful... then she walked over to me and she gave me that look. She looked up from under her lashes and gave me a sexy little smile… I was completely dazzled. i swear my heart stopped and time froze for just a moment. She took my breath away. And the look in those deep beautiful brown eyes, she's all I have thought about sense.

Why couldn't she just stop for two seconds and realize she loved me? Why did she have to run off and save him? He left her! He left her and she broke. I fixed her, I made her feel again! I made her smile again! I made her happy! WHY!? Why did she leave me, why was she so stuck on our friendship, why wouldn't she let her self love me!? Why are there no answers?

It hurt so much! This pain is crippling! Death is surly better than this; than this life without her! All I feel is pain. I cant breath, I'm drowning in sorrow! And no one will help me, no that's not it, no one can help me. She's the only one who can save me, and she doesn't even care about me anymore. All she cares about is him! Her _precious_ Edward.

She was so hurt and broken when he left her… I fixed her! Dose that mean nothing to her!? I love her too! I loved her enough to let her go! I love her more than he dose. But he was willing to give her up too, if she wanted it. She doesn't want me. She never did… and she never will… Why? I have _so _many questions… and no answers.

This is why I run. This is way I choose this form, the beast within. The pain is too great, I may not be able to have her, but that doesn't mean I can't still watch over her. My love it too strong to give up on her; too strong to never see her again. So I run, run to her, to be her guardian for all eternity. That is how much I love her. I will give up everything, just to see her. To watch her.

I here the distant cries of my pack as they say goodbye. I hear the please of my friends calling, begging me to come back. But I can not, my heart cries to her, and her alone. She has chosen her path, and I have chosen mine.

**AN: please R&R!! this is my first try at a fanfic, so please be gentle.**


	2. AN

Hello everyone!!! The few of you how have review have asked me to continue with this story. It was originally designed as a one-shot to get me into the swing of writing, but since I am a complete pushover to my reader, I will write more. But I must worn you, Jake will not be ending up with Bella nor will he be ending up with Leah. He will not however end up alone. At least that's what I am thinking about right now, how dose that sound to everyone? Please review with your thoughts.

nightgoddess1303


	3. Chapter 2

_AN: I just want to take the time to thank everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome!!! You all inspire me to write faster and better. Without you I probably wouldn't have continued with this story, actually I wouldn't have which would have been a complete bummer because I now have __SO__ many ideas on were to take this story. THANK YOU!!!! _

I am sitting outside the Cullen house, it is vacant; they have already left. I stand and begin to patrol the premises for any sign of where they have gone. I catch a sent; Bella. They got into a car, probably his stupid Volvo. I grab the sent and follow it from the safe distance of the trees. I will find her.

I have spent the last five days running and have finally made it. I am in Alaska sitting on the edge of the wood outside there house. I can her here screams as she turns into one of them; as she dies. I can no longer here my pack, weather it be because they finally stopped trying to reach me or because I finally got far enough away; I don't know, but I don't really care either.

I catch bits and pieces of conversation between the leeches. She is on her last day of the transformation they say. Good, soon my sweet angle will be in pain no longer. Soon I will see her smile again, even if it is only from afar, I will see she, I will here her beautiful, melodic laughter.

I here her cry out again. I can here her screams of agony all the way out here. I die a little inside with every wail. If he loved her as much as I do, how can he put her threw this kind of pain? How can he torture her like this? I could never have put her in such pain. I could never have been the source of such pain.

I turn and walk away; I need a break from the screams. I take off in a run, I needed to think. I needed to clear my head. What was I doing here? Was this really what I wanted? Was this healthy? This obsession with something I can't have, because no matter what I tell my self, no matter what I hope, she will never be mine.

I wandered into a small clearing in the woods; in the middle laying in a patch of moonlight was a beautiful white wolf. She was glorious; with the moonlight dancing across her alabaster fur… it was breath taking. She looked up at me then; her crystal blue eyes piercing right threw me, penetrating my soul. That's when I knew this was no ordinary wolf; no normal wolf has a gaze like that.

She walked towards me slowly, cautiously. As if she were judging every breath I took for possible signs of danger. The beautiful white wolf now stood before me only inches apart. I could smell her sweet intoxicating sent. It smelled like vanilla, only richer and not as sweet and slightly more... wild, exotic. I had never smelt anything like it before ever. It was heaven.

Then the beautiful white wolf began to phase to her human form. When she was finished I gazed upon her with shock. She was truly an angel. She had long white hair, not blonde and not gray, but white, like freshly fallen snow. Her eyes were that same pricing crystal blue and her skin was just as pale as her lovely hair. She had long lean legs and was very tall, probably six feet. But the most enticing thing about her was her presence; the way she stood demanded attention and authority.

"So, are you just going to stare at me, or are you going to phase so we can have a conversation?" Her voice rang threw the clearing like a chorus of angles. I was dazzled momentarily but phased back to my human form for the first time in a week. It felt strange standing on two legs again after all the time I spent in my wolf form.

She looked at me with curiosity in her eyes, "what's you name and what pack are you from?" Well wasn't she blunt.

"My name is Jacob Black from the Quileute Pack of La Push, Washington, and who are you?"

"I am Keira Golden, and what are you doing here Jacob Black? You're a long way from home and your pack."

"I needed a brake and to sort some things out."

"And your Alpha just let you go?"

"I am the Alpha of my pack." I say simply, it was tactically true, I was the alpha, I just didn't want it. Maybe when I got back I would claim my rightful position. Maybe that's what I really needed.

"So you just up and left? Abandoning your pack!?" the look in her eye was a cross between anger and disbelief.

"I don't have to explain my self to you." I shot back furious of the thought I knew where going threw her head.

"Actually you do. I'm the Alpha of my pack and these lands, so you do need to explain." I was stunned, a female Alpha, it's unheard of. Females were rarely werewolves to begin with let alone the Alpha of the pack.

"What pack are you from?" there was only one pack that had a female alpha, actually the whole pack was female, but was I really that far north? I was so focused on her sent that now that I thought about it I didn't really know where I was.

"I am from the Inupiat pack in Prudhoe Bay."

"Is it true that you're pack is nothing but Women?"

"Yes it is. We were the only pack to have any women in our pack, until yours. Miss Leah Clearwater I believe is her name? And I thought your Alpha's name was Sam Uley."

How did she know of us? There was something different about this female. "Sam was just the first of us to turn, I am the true Alpha. I let Sam act as leader. How do you know of us?"

"I don't know of your pack, I know of you, Jacob Black."

_AN: Yay a new chapter. So there you have it, my latest chapter I really hope everyone likes it. I might bring Leah into the story, but I really don't know. I have an idea, but… I don't know. Anyway please review, I would be greatly appreciated! I love hearing what you think of my stories. But if all you're going to say is that you think Bella and Jacob belong together, please keep it to your self. I don't want Bella and Jacob together so there. : P _


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